Christmas Pudding

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Historically, the Christmas pudding was seen as a religious affront. In 1664, Oliver Cromwell banned it as a "lewd custom," considering the rich pudding "unfit for God-fearing people," and the Quakers rather gloriously condemned it as "the invention of the scarlet whore of Babylon." I have to say I think the Quakers make Christmas pudding sound rather more exciting than it is but, wanting to rise to the occasion, I have tried to come up with a pudding that the scarlet whore of Babylon would be truly proud of.
Just what was everybody doing with those puddings that made Cromwell call them a "lewd custom?" I know he just meant having any fun was out of bounds for "God-fearing people" (perhaps he was the prototype for Dickens' Scrooge) but that phrase boggles the imagination.

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